What do you call it when you have set nice future-oriented goals and right after that your downfall starts? Downfall that you yourself have done? It’s like one part of you doesn’t want to be a better person and that part wants to win so badly. What do you call it? Does it have a name? I’m sure it does since I’m sure I’m not the only one in the world experiencing it. Hmmm…

I’m reading a book right now. Perhaps what I’m experiencing is something the books calls “ego” that always comes with two sides of a coin, one is happiness and another fear. Is it fear I’m experiencing right now? However it is the book sees a solution: don’t make ego your alternative you. That is incredibly easy to write down, but insanely hard to put in practice. I’m in trying, that has to count on something right?

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